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The Hitman’s Bodyguard #filmreview

Hilariously funny, slick and action packed but a really tricky movie to categorise. Perhaps it’s black comedy, very black. But black comedy is usually a bit more light-hearted. This movie is funny but it is NOT light hearted! There are torture scenes, a lot of violence and swearing. It is a high action thriller that just happens to be hilarious. Thrillers are not normally funny – I like it!


Samuel L Jackson hasn’t been this cool since his Jackie Brown/Pulp Fiction days! Okay maybe he has, he is always cool! Ryan Reynolds was equally superb and as a duo it was delicious, so good I had to watch it again!

So quick synopsis without spoilers is that an Executive AAA rated protection agent – Michael Bryce (Reynolds) is reluctantly called in by his ex-girlfriend to help protect an inprisoned hitman called Darius Kincaid (Jackson) and get him to The Hague in The Netherlands (from Coventry) in 27 hours so that he can testify against an evil dictator. Without Kincaids testimony the ruler will be set free.

Now with spoilers…

There were so many clever and funny lines I loved:

“Are you cleaning the car with old a**holes?!”

Yes there is a lot of swearing!

“I’m trying to keep you out of harms way”

“I am harms way!”

“That motherf***er is unkillable!”

One of the best bits is on the car journey when Kincaid makes up a song about life and continues to sing “nobody gets out alive” it goes on so long and becomes so annoying (reminiscent of Donkey from Shrek “Can I hum it?!”) that Bryce starts singing “I saw the sign” in a high-pitched voice to stop him. So funny!

Another very clever thing they do is juxtapose violence and romance. When Kincaid meets his wife for the first time the song “Hello” (Lionel Ritchie) is playing over a violent scene of her killing about 10 dudes in a bar it’s so incongruous – pure genius! It happens a few times.

Overall this a very clever movie with a superb acting duo, Mrs Kincaid is played by Selma Hayek, she plays the angry wife role excellently. The only minor annoyance is the strange accent of Bryce’s ex girlfriend, it is so weird I can’t even place it. I think she was going for British but it’s odd to say the least. It does not detract from the movies’ pure brilliance though.

Go see it!

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Cheaper Cinema Trips

After reading a couple of blog posts recently about how expensive the cinema is, I was inspired to write a post about ways of keeping cinema costs down. If you go out with the whole family on a Saturday night to see the latest blockbuster you are likely to be spending £30 plus, and that is just for tickets, let alone snacks on top of that. However, if you are a little more selective on the days you go, the venue, the movies you choose, or simply make the effort to collect a few vouchers/print something off online, then you could get your cinema trips for free, or at a much lower cost.

So here are my top 10 tips:

1. Unlimited card – this is what me and the hubby do, because we are regular cinema go-ers. The unlimited card at Cineworld costs £15.90 outside of London but it is only really worthwhile if you go more than once per month. I love it for several reasons: not only do we go to the cinema without having to think about it, we get to see movies we might not otherwise try. If you don’t like the movie, you can just go out and get another ticket for a different one, so the risk is less. If you have the unlimited card for over a year you get upgraded to premium, which gets you the added benefit of being able to see 3D movies for free (you don’t have to pay extra) and 25% off all food and drink. You also get special advance screenings of movies on occasion. I absolutely LOVE the unlimited card, and have had it for about 5 years!

2. Movies for Juniors – at Cineworld they have movies for Juniors on saturday and sunday mornings. They screen fairly recent kids movies and it only costs £1 per person! This week my cinema showed “Monsters University” and “The Croods” (very funny). Vue call it KidsAM and it costs £1.75 per tickets.

3. 2 for 1 on Wednesdays – It used to be called “Orange Wednesdays” (which was a much better name, but who am I to judge) however it is exactly the same. If you are an EE mobile customer, text the word “film” to the phone number: 241. They will text back with a code that when you buy your ticket gets you another ticket for free. This also works with the unlimited card, so I often take a friend out on a Wednesday and neither of us have to pay anything. As a bonus you can also get a 2 for 1 on pizza’s and dough balls at pizza express using the same code that they send you for the cinema.

4. Cheap night – most cinema’s have special cheaper nights. At Cineworld and Odeon it is called Bargain Tuesdays, Vue call it Super Tuesday where you get about 1/3 off the price. Currently around £6 per ticket, although less if you book online (you save 10% when you book online).

5. Outdoor cinemas – in Milton Keynes every year the Parks Trust have an Open Air Cinema weekend event. It it completely free, is in our lovely campbell park and is my favourite annual event. I have seen them in London too, so I am sure other towns must do it too, have a look in your local papers or local parks trust websites.

6. Sky Movies customers – one of the Sky Rewards scheme is that if you are a sky movies customer you can get free cinema tickets to advance previews of films at the cinema. For example they were offering up to 4 free tickets to see “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2”.

7. Collect sweet wrappers e.g M&Ms for Sweety Sunday

8. If you are a student you can use your NUS card to get a big reduction in the price, and don’t forget to apply for an NUS extra card even if you are a part-time student, for example if you study with the Open University.

9. Moneysavingexpert is a fantastic website, that I have been using for years to save money. They have a thread, in their forums with a list of websites you can sign up to that have regular free screenings of the latest films, for example “The Book Thief” was free to see yesterday at cineworld.

10. Booking in advance, If you book your tickets online with Cineworld you save 10% off the ticket price. This is one of the quickest and easiest ways to save a little money off your tickets.

Finally, what are we doing this weekend? Going to see the Lego Movie of course!

the official lego movie

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Frozen – Cinema Trip with 2 year old Toddler

On Christmas Eve we took Nate to see the new Disney movie – Frozen. Nate has just turned 2 so we thought we would try the cinema again. Last time he sat through 1 hour of the movie which I thought was good for his age.

This time though he actually watched the entire movie! It took a lot of food and shuffling between the seats but he made it and seemed to enjoy it. He really like the reindeer and “Olaf” the snowman.

funny Olaf

Olaf really did steal the show, especially with his hilarious “In summer” song!

I like the movie, mostly because the snowman was so funny, but I personally found the singing a little hard going. It’s been a while since I have seen a traditional Disney movie, the ones where they sing every 5 minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I love Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King etc but I am one of those weird people who doesn’t actually like Musicals! (I’m envisioning you all throwing rotten tomatoes at me right now!) I once spoke to an avid theatre go-er once and she said ahhhh you don’t like inappropriate singing, and I realised that is indeed what I don’t like. I love it when people sing in appropriate places like on a stage, at a karaoke, maybe even in the shower, but when they wake up, stretch their arms up and break out into song (like in Hairspray), or walk down the street singing at the top of their voices and spinning around lamp-posts I just cringe.

So yes, like many old Disney movies before this one, there is a lot of “inappropriate singing”. The Snowman helped me through though and I did enjoy it, as did Nate.

Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like musicals?

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First night away

My darling boy spent his very first night away from home last night. He stayed with Nana and Grandad in their new home! It was a huge mix of emotions for me; I was thrilled to be spending a whole night and day alone with hubby but I also missed him terribly.

The husband and I did make the most of it though. We had dinner and cocktails at Las Iguanas (yum) followed by a movie. We had a nice lie-in the next day, followed by brunch at Harvester and we saw “Fast Girls” at the cinema. We also got lots done round the house before we picked him up at 5pm.

When I arrived he greeted me with a big smile and lots of grabbing of my face, necklace and glasses, which I interpreted as he missed me too. Nana and Grandad said he was brilliant, he slept through the night, even though it was a new cot and house and he was well behaved and happy all day. I was so relieved to hear he slept well and coped well in a new setting, my good little boy.