This is something I have wanted to write now for awhile, as I wanted it to be documented somewhere so that I could look back on how amazing my son (my 5 year old) has been as a big brother.
When I found out I was pregnant, as excited as I was, my very first worry was about my son, would he cope? Did he want a sibling? Would he feel left out or pushed out? Would he be jealous? These are all natural worries that many of us feel when we have a second child, but it looks like I need not have worried, he has been amazing.
From the day we told him I was pregnant, from the scan when we found out I was having a girl and throughout my entire pregnancy he has been so excited, so involved and so into the idea of a sister. I never thought a boy, particularly a 4 year old boy, could be so excited about a girl coming into the family (even at school he prefers to play with boys).
Also, 6 months (the point at which he found out) is a long time to wait, I thought he would lose interest. Instead he counted down the days. We helped him out by giving him some anchors to help him count down (since he couldn’t understand the months of the year), so all throughout my pregnancy we would all chant “first it’s Easter, then Daddy’s birthday, then family holiday, then Grandad’s birthday and then Sister!” these events helped him to count down so he knew how long he had to wait, it worked really well.
When she arrived, Nana brought him into the hospital to meet his new sister and he was so chuffed when he got to hold her.
When we came home, in those early weeks, he was so fascinated with every little thing about her:
“Look how tiny her fingers are”
“Mum look she is waving at me”
and my favourite:
“I love you so much sister, I love you very, very, very, very, very much” (he whispered in her ear), yes that made me melt.
The wonderous aspect that I hadn’t realised is that I actually love my son more because of the way he loves his sister. I didn’t think it was possible to love my son anymore, but there was a secret pocket of love just waiting to be released.
Since he is 5 years old now, which I believe is the perfect age gap, he is also being super helpful, running off to grab a nappy or a bib whenever I need it, trying to entertain her and sing to her when she cries and even feeding me and putting water to my lips when I was breastfeeding.
Of course it is not all sunshine and rainbows, that wouldn’t be realistic, in his eagerness he can definitely be too much sometimes. He doesn’t realise his own strength so I constantly had to say “Be gentle”, also he is so obsessed with her sometimes that it takes him forever to get anything done. Mornings can be tough, when I ask him to get his breakfast, or get dressed (which thankfully he can do himself), he almost always says “I just have to check on sister first”, which is sweet but also frustrating when you are trying to get out of the door to get him to school on time.
The last little amazement to me though is how much he loves her to be girly. When we went shopping the other day he shouted:
“Mummy you have to buy this tutu for sister, she will look like a princess!”
Now that she is almost 1 year old, I am surprised by how fascinated with her, he still is. Not only that but she adores him, when he stays over at Nana’s she says ‘brother’ a lot, and nobody makes her laugh like he does. When he is playing with her she does a full out belly laugh, the kind that when you hear it, you rush towards to watch and cannot help but laugh yourself. She also finds the weirdest things funny, sometimes, all he has to do is throw a ball and she thinks it is funny.
I love watching them play together and how fascinated she is by him. But of course he can also be too rough sometimes, and accidentally hurts her, and she accidentally hurts him too – all part of the brother/sister relationship.
My brother and I were really close when we were kids, I really hope that they will be too.